Letters
Hello, Elizabeth, I don't work at Famous Barr anymore I moved back
home, December 30, 2003 a month after Joe pass, I'm not from St. Louis,
I remember when I moved to St. Louis Joe had Just got the job at the
Olive Garden, he was so happy, he was looking for a new white shirt to
wear for his first day of work, and he wanted me to help him pick one
out, I was going to give him the 20% off Discount employee card, he was
always so kind to me, I miss him so much, the last time I saw him was
that Sunday before he pass,, I cooked him dinner at my home and I
received the call that he was gone that Wednesday night, I was at the
funeral, Ms. Elizabeth, he would come to the cosmetic dept. and visit
with me, I was new to the area and he made me feel so welcome, I can
still remember his voice when he would come into the store HEY ANNETTE!,
he liked this young girl who worked with me, and wanted me to set him up
with her, he was just a pleasant person to be around, he made friends
very easy,, Joe had a lot of friends... I know that he wanted to
change, he wanted everyone to be proud of him, I remember like it was
yesterday, that Sunday night before he left I gave him a hug, and He
told me he loved me, and I said to him I love you too Joe, take care and
be careful as a mother myself, I was left with an empty feeling that
night, , you love him so very much and it showed, Ms. Elizabeth you are
an angel Joe was very lucky to have a Grandmother like you, He was your
life, you are in my prayers...... God is watching over you and Joe is
there with you, he talked about you a lot, thank God for his
Grandmother, because everyone just didn't have or wanted to spend time
with Joe, He felt left out, But I'm not going to e-mail you about
that.... I am sure you know, I will remember him as a nice looking young
man with a big heart, who was always happy and out going and love
people...take care of yourself remember God is with you, and your web
site is beautiful..............AnnetteSeptember 16, 2006
Suzannes addiction.
Thank you for your understanding and love.
I have a daughter who is again going through withdrawal of heroin.
For the past eight years she has been on heroin and meth.
I raised her son until last year when she took him back.
She has taken him to the drug houses and pawned his things. He is seven
years old. All he ever has to say is that his mom is sick. he
understands her problem.
I have already prayed for God to prepare my heart for her funeral.
She came in to my room yesterday and I was lying on the bed.
She just vomited all over the bed, me,..
Nothing stops her. it is a cycle.
The psych hospital;, abscesses, Hepatitis shots for almost a
year...............
We are working on cleaning up again, but It never seems to end!
Tears.........
.....I wont give up.
it is so very hard to get help for the addict.
I was at a methadone clinic the other day and it took two days and getting
through the week end for them to dose her with the med.
I feel helpless her arms are so used up.
I see her life being used up too.I love her and feel her slow death.
Katherine
22 Jan
2005
*******
Dear gramma Liz,
you and I have chatted a few times in the room. i have signed joes book, and been to his
site,,, a few time, infact. the fact that you are active in recovery chat, and reaching
out to addicts is very admirable. my grandma just came to my parent's house for a week
long visit, and sitting here thinking about you and what happened with joe makes me think
about my own grandma,,,,
you know i am in the middle of a relapse, and when my grandma was here, i was using with
her in the next room. it makes me pretty sad that i did that,,,and what happens if i don't
make it back. will my grandma be making me a site like joes?
that's kind of scarey!! thank you for your reply and concern.. you are a beautiful person,
and god will bless you.
love in sobriety,,,
stacy
*******
My Dear Joe,
Today is a very happy day for the entire family. The only thing that is missing is that
Jack and you are not here to share this great joy.
Today at 1:44 pm eastern time Justin  and  Mindi had
your nephew Austin Joseph.
He weighs 8lbs. 14 ozs., is 21
inches long. Your little brother is one proud Daddy. I talked to him right after Austin
was born. And yes your gramma cried. I could just see you jumping up and down and and
yelling "YES, YES that's my brother. I could see that big smile. And you clapping
your hands and trying to talk me into helping you get to North Carolina. (smile)
I haven't seen him yet but his Daddy says he is beautiful. And I believe him. (smile) Now
Joe you have a namesake. Another way your brother has showed you just how much he loves
you.
You have been gone a year and five months and we all still love and miss you very much. I
miss sharing our talks, our good times and I think of the bad times now and then. But the
good out weigh the bad. You are always in my heart and thoughts every day of my life.
I will do my best to help others who are addicted. And I know that is what you would want
me to do. I only wish I could of done more for you. Are would of known more. But
sweetheart you are at peace now. And God is taking care of you.
I miss you and love you with all my heart. Rest in peace my Jofus.
I love you,
Gramma
Sat, 3 Apr 2004
*******
My name is Kenny and I am an
addict, I used for about 22 years. At 17 I joined the U.S.M.C. Still using but now having
found a better way to use (i v), I began to smuggle in the spring of 84,I couldnt afford
to support my habit. This lasted for about a year,When I got caught I got thrown out of
the corps for conduct unbecoming and into prison for 10 years... I still hadnt learned my
lesson, it took 8 more years and one more prison term before I finally gor it... Joe
Ungers story could have been mine,why is he dead and I clean. I dont know,I do know that
Joe didnt want this, no one wants this. Joe like myself didnt have a monkey on his back,it
was a fucking 800 lbs gorilla and that gorilla doesnt leave just because you want him to.
The disease of addiction is color blind,gender blind it has one objective to put you in
the fucking ground... I humbly ask your forgiveness Grandma Liz for cussing but that word
applied there, I would also like to remind everyone that someones son, daughter, grandson,
granddaughter, nephew, niece, husband, wife,neighbour,friend, is having some sort of a
drug problem. Please dont forsake them in their hour of need... Liz, thank you for asking
me to share here. I havent cried in 11 years but this young mans life filled with
suffering and pain has broken my heart. I hope that you are well and that you continue to
fight this fight, You have my respect and my admiration, I salute you Marine, Semper Fi...
Rest in peace Joe, your fight is over, I know that the spirit was willing but the flesh
was weak.
Vaya con dios
Kenny Poulsen U.S.M.C...
Fri, 19 Mar 2004
*******
What up Joe ? This is your fat
friend till the end FOOK DAWG. Me and my new girl are sittin here chattin with granny and
we wanted to say hello. Joe I am so sorry for all wrong I ever did to you, and I know you
are sorry too. I miss you Joe and I love you with all my heart. I hope both you and Jack
know now that I am here for Grandma and I will do all I can to help her when I am here.
You all are greatly missed and we all know that I once had my own demons but by the grace
of GOD I was able to beat them. If anyone reads this message that has a problem PLEASE
remember you are loved, all the people you might believe are against you are the only ones
there for you. Please help yourself and your families before this letter is written to
you. FOOK DAWG BABY
Sat, 21 Feb 2004
*******
Hi all
My Name is Mike, and I am an addict. What a sad story Joe's is, and I am writing
this because Granny Liz asked me to. When I read Joe's story, I see a lot of similar
things in my life, with one big exception....I found a way out of the Hell that is active
drug addiction, through a Higher Power and Narcotics Anonymous. When I was using, my
grandma Esther was a lot like Liz, in the fact that she would always give me hugs, love,
hope, and shelter. All of my immediate family, save a sister, and my 10 year old
daughter, whom I have full custody of today, due to her mom's active drug addiction, have
passed on. I take comfort in the fact that I believe they are all proud of me now,
for they surely could not of been when they were alive and I was still using. Today,
I have learned that I CAN live day to day, without the use of drugs. There is a way
out, and there are others, addicts like myself, who stay clean themselves while helping
others to walk the same path. My heart goes out to you, Gramma Liz, and I hope that all
those who see your website tribute to your grandson think about how many addict there out
there, that, with a little help and guidance, can find a way to live clean and to be a
productive member of society. Too many of us are clogging up the prison system, or
homeless shelters, or sadly the cemetaries. Please don't just give up! Thank
you Liz, for allowing me to share in your story.
With Love In My Heart
Mike T.
Tue, 10 Feb 2004
*******
Elizabeth,
I have read your webiste, with tears in my eyes for you. I feel your pain.
As if the death of a child from any means, or by drugs, isn't enough, it is
SO EXTRA heart-breaking the way that Joe died.
As horrendous as my pain is, I did not have that added torment. My heart
breaks for you. And, sadly, your experience is quite often the case in these
drug deaths. Their so-called "friends" just leave them like they were a piece
of trash. For the life of me, I cannot fathom how anyone could possibly do
such a thing.
Your intense love & longing for Joe comes across loud and clear in your
beautiful tribute to him.
If only there were SOME WAY for all of us to come together in one unified
body, to rise up against this scourge, maybe, just MAYBE, we could do somet
hing about it. Sadly, I personally feel that there are just too many fragmented
groups, for this to happen. There needs to be ONE, united, central group,
for all of those who have suffered losses such as ours, to come together, unite,
and take a stand on this, and maybe, with the power of numbers, make something
change!!!! TOO many, way too many of our young people are being lost to this
scourge!
God bless you, Grandma! Sounds like you had a great relationship with your
grandson! I am so sorry that he is now gone from your life.
Love,
Sue Shields, mom to Katie Kevlock
Mon, 2 Feb 2004
*******
TO MY BEST FRIEND
Well little buddy, I talk to you just about every night. But I figured that I would send
you a letter this time. I have to tell you Bro that you have me in tears all the time
these days. So that will definitely be your ass the next time I see you. (smile) From
North St. Louis (Baden) to the South Side and than just about every inch of the county.
Every part of it with you was a blast most definitely.
Growing up though I think that we seriously chose the wrong paths. Because now Joe you
have passed on and I have been in and out of prison for the last ten years. (ALL BECAUSE
OF DRUGS) Having almost eight years done in jail now, it’s pretty obvious that I have
had a lot of time to think. Think over all the stuff that we have done. Like I said
it’s very clear that we chose the wrong direction somewhere down the line. I know you
would agree. Too tough Dude! You and I, we couldn’t be stopped, we couldn’t be
tamed or reasoned with. That was the way we wanted it. All of that and than some. Right up
until the time HEROIN viciously entered our lives. We both said that it could never happen
to us. Getting hooked on some stupid (drug). But it did my friend and we definitely lost.
Now as I sit and try to rebuild what I broke and regain what I’ve lost, I am still
getting kicked in the mouth from HEROIN because it has now taken you from my life. I know
that I will see you again someday. But I also think it is very unfair. I never thought
that it was that powerful, did you? I also never thought that I could be so damn enraged
towards a damn substance, as well as I am towards someone not picking up the phone and
calling someone to get you help. But I am Bro. Sleep has went out the window a long time
ago for me.
God Brother, I have all of these thoughts and all of these memories that I wanted to share
with you when I got home. We will just have to do it another time now. I have been clean
for almost two years now. I also know that you were doing pretty good yourself. No one
will ever know the struggles and the up’s and down’s we went through. But I will
never forget. I too know who was there for us and who wasn’t. Leave it to some punk
named after a cartoon charter to leave you stranded my friend.
Now it looks like I am on my own again from here on out. I was seriously hoping that when
I got out that we could beat this thing together. I still have you in my heart though and
I know you will always be there for me now.
Having went through four major overdoses, I only wish that you could of seen me than. I
know that you would have stopped. Mom’s laid next to my body for seven days while I
laid completely unconscious the whole damn time. Damn Joe, I’m so upset right now,
you have no idea. I’m more scared than anything because we were dealt these cards
without fully understanding how to play the game. I feel like I am set up pretty good. I
have my family as well as grams behind me. So I know that we can beat the dealer now kid!!
And please don’t you ever worry about grams because she has Severe (me) to look after
her now. We both know that she might still have to look after me though. (smile) We will
both be needing your strength as well as a little from Jack to also get us through the bad
times. I have to tell you that I don’t fear anything now with you helping out the big
man to care for us. He should already know that you have our back’s until the end,
right?
I wanted to say something to you, just between you and I Buddy because I know that you
will never forget. Lucy in the sky with Diamonds on the landing Drop top Mustang with blue
lady. Lennon and McCartney spitting “Here Comes The Sun” through the wire and
filtering through the MB Quarts that you always loved. Later to be standing on the ledge
twenty five stories up screaming the best of the best and better than all the rest, as you
look up and started yelling MOJORISIN back to me. The good and the bad side Buddy. (We
only wanted peace for just one second).
Joe, you and I are two of the same and most definitely one of a kind as a whole. I promise
to you that no one will ever take the spot that you have imbedded in my heart. You were
the truest of friend’s and you have made such an impact on my life. My newest fear is
that I will go on missing you terribly for the rest of my life. I’m very content with
that though. We started this together my friend (our lives) and no one or nothing could
stop us. I can honestly say that we never burned any bridges kid! Instead we just choose
to blow them up. (SMILE) Throughout all the good times and the bad I will cherish all of
our memories forever. I will spend the rest of my life thinking about our good times man,
straight up. I only wish that you were here so that we could watch each other’s
back’s just as we did at Cleveland.
Joe, you have touched everyone’s life that you came in contact with. You are very
much loved and will always be missed by us all. Typing this I’m completely in
tear’s. I know that you are happy and that all of the pain has been lifted. Stay
strong Buddy and I will see yah when I see yah. Please save me a seat, When they punch my
card and I make that journey I want to be able to sit next to my best friend. Please tell
Jack that I will try and sneak him in a camel and hopefully our buddy Wiser will join us.
Than we can sit back and start telling lies. (SMILE). I love you Bro! TO MY BEST FRIEND
Joe “Cool” Unger.
SUNRISE……………August 10 1976
SUNSET……………..NEVER!
Todd
letters@joeunger.org
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